Tuesday, October 12, 2010

As the Deer panteth for the water....

This is one of my favorite hymns from my childhood years... It means a lot more to me now. You see, being in Papaw's house, a lot of things become nostalgic. It took me a while to get used to the idea of sleeping in Papaw's room and things like that. Now that Wes is graduating soon and we could possibly be leaving soon, these things are becoming more sentimental. Knowing that after we move out, this house will most likely be put on the market and will no longer be in the family is a little disheartening. But I know it's just a house. The memories will still be in the minds of those who lived and loved here.

Deer have often walked through the front yard across the driveway, to the other side of the road and across the yard of the neighbors house to another wooded area nearby. This happens often. Papaw loved seeing the deer walk by, and almost every day. I've seen them numerous times myself. At first it didn't mean much to me. But when Papaw died, the day after he was buried, Wes and I were home and two deer were in the front yard. They usually walk through within a minute or two. This time, they were standing in the yard. For close to five minutes, Wes and I watched as they nibbled on the grass and watched us as well as the dogs in the neighbors yards. It seemed like they stared at us through the window. I started crying. I was emotional from the events of the days before. I felt in my heart that those two deer showed me that Papaw and Mamaw were looking in on me, checking on me and letting me know that they were ok and they wanted to make sure I was going to be ok. I slept well that night.

I see deer often while running in the early morning at Bonita. I love this. When I see them, I immediately stop running and watch them. I thank God for sending them to watch over me. They are a reminder that Mamaw, Papaw and many others are in Heaven watching over us. The deer often show up when I'm alone and in the woods or back out of the lighted areas. And several times they've come out of the trees at the right time, when I feel a bit nervous.

On Monday, Mrs. Virginia passed away. She was 91. She was ready to go. At the visitation, there were lots of people who came through talking about how wonderful of a person she was. I felt blessed to have known her for as long as I did. From the beginning of her relationship with Papaw, Mrs. V never intended to replace Mamaw. And of course, she never did. She never intended for anyone to feel that that was her intention. She loved and cared for Papaw. They were sweet together. Their years together made Papaw happy. We truly believe Papaw wouldn't have lived as long as he did without her companionship. She was by his side when he passed away. Mom, Ken and I were there. We believe Papaw waited for her to get there that morning. She claimed us as her family. She was always smiling, cheerful and witty.

On Tuesday morning, the morning of the visitation, I was biking on the trainer. I intended to run that morning, but I didn't sleep well. While riding, two does walked through the front yard and stood there. Looking around. Looking at me. Two does. On Wednesday, I was running the trails at Bonita and THREE deer crossed the path.

They were beautiful.

1 comment:

Knight Shift said...

Loved the post. I think of you often. And I'm always checking your blog. Take Care.