Saturday, October 31, 2009

1st 20 miler today

Much easier than last week! The farther we go down Highway 19, the more hills there are. There are a few steep hills near our 18 mile turnaround. Last week we hit them pretty good, but felt it near the end and barely finished. This time, we tackled the hills pretty good, but added more walk breaks and stopped twice to stretch. We finished running and felt much better than last week. I feel much better about the race now that I've gotten in the 20's...

Please pray for Dad... He's having surgery soon on his neck. He has ruptured discs that will be replaced.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Pineapple plants...

When Wes & I went to Hawaii in 2006, we bought some fresh pineapples before we left to return home. (You have to have them sprayed and sent to the airport or buy them in the airport) These are the tops of those pineapples...3 years later. They haven't sprouted a new fruit yet and they probably won't because we're not in a tropical environment. They've been outside all summer. We brought them inside because the cold weather will kill them. The problem is, we didn't realize just how big they'd gotten.....



I'm standing in a chair to take this picture.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Doomed Worrier

I can't believe I'm actually writing this... It's been eating away at me for a long time. And lately, it's gotten considerably worse...

I'm terrified of death. Not my own death. I'm relatively healthy (even though I eat a lot of junk food), I don't smoke or drink, and I feel I have a lot of time left, even though the dreaded 30 is creeping up soon... I'm terrified of my parents death. (Sorry Mom & Dad, you already know this, but I had to get this out. It just becomes overwhelming sometimes.) It's starting to interfere with life. (And there's nothing that they did or said to make me this way). At first, I would be in the car or shower or laying in bed trying to go to sleep and my mind would wonder off. Something would trigger it. Something small. I'll be thinking about the next day's activities and something about that would bring the thought of them into the "picture" and then it turns around. I'll think, what if? what if? what if? What if my dad gets hurt at work? What if my mom has a car accident? How will I deal with it? What will I say/do/react? How will I take care of the other? What will happen to Papaw/Grandmother? How will Pete take it? What if something happens to Pete? How will my parents take it? Will it kill them? How will I take care of them grieving and myself too? This is how it begins. After a few minutes, I think, this is silly! Why am I stressing myself out over something that hasn't happened and most likely won't? Sometimes I can shake the thoughts out. Start thinking about something else. It will go away. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it'll bring me to tears. And sometimes full on crying tears. There's a superstition aspect that can trigger it too... What if I forget to tell Mom I love her when I get off the phone? What if I don't wave to Dad?
I don't think this way everyday. Sometimes I go days, even weeks without thinking this way. Then one day, it will hit me and here we go again. It's never happened in public before. And it's rarely effected my mood.
But on Sunday, I felt like it got worse. Or at least I let it get worse. This happened during church. I was listening to Bro. Kenny speak. (I like his sermons.) I wasn't zoning out at all, but then he said something that made me think of Mamaw and Papaw. I don't know what it was. And then I started thinking about Mom. What if she gets Alzheimer's? What if she forgets me? Then I couldn't control it anymore. I fought the tears for like 20 minutes. But I couldn't anymore. (Here they come again) During the invitation, I grabbed a friend and we went down to pray. I told her what was happening. She may have thought I was crazy. Maybe I am a little. She prayed with me and I did feel better. I think I just needed to get it out of me. I don't want to think this way anymore. I can't know what's going to happen to them or anyone else for that matter. I tell myself not to dwell on the unknown. I wish there was a switch or magic potion that would turn it off. But then, would I still be me? Is this just part of my personality? The doomed worrier? Will I always be thinking the worst? I sure hope not because Sunday morning was bad. I busied myself the rest of the day so I wouldn't think about it again. It worked. I visited Papaw, ate with Mom, and spent the rest of the day with a High School friend I hadn't seen in 11 years. (Rachael) If I can keep it in the shower or the car, I can handle it. It's normal for people to worry a little, but is this normal? In saying all this, I don't want Mom & Dad to worry about me, worrying about them. (Does that make since?) I feel like talking about it helps so when/if it happens again, I can let it out easier.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

stuff...

I'm still here...Not much going on... Pete was in town today. We went to see papaw and ate lunch. He's headed to Texas to hunt with his in-laws. He'll be back here in next week. I think every one's planning on going to the EHS game on Oct. 23rd and we're in the process of plan something on Saturday, the 24th.

Running's going good. This week has been hard. I tried a new pair of shoes. That didn't work out. Saucony's may be great for my male running partners, but the women's shoes are terrible! At least for me. I'll stick with Nike. Running the trails at Bonita tomorrow and Saturday, we're running 17. Getting a little more nervous the higher the number gets. But the nerves haven't gotten to the point of anxiety in a while. Two months ago, I couldn't look at the website or my training schedule without needing a deep breath. The half-marathon helped a lot. Now I'm hoping I won't get sick and am trying to find more and more ways to prevent a cold or flu. Any suggestions??

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Half.... check! :)

So I did it! Yeah! My official time was 2 hours, 20 minutes, 8 seconds. Pretty good I think. (The winner finished at 1:10) The trip was really nice. The hotel was great and a great price! Here's pictures.

The Mayor of Montgomery firing the starting gun.



Feeling good.... Me and the girl in the pink stayed close together most of the race...
The balloon lady (official last finisher) starting the race.
Pictures from the top of our hotel. (During the race, Wes walked around for a while and then went back to the hotel room and watched TV.)

The pool at the hotel. It was on the roof of the parking garage. We could look down at the race start and finish.

Wes getting ready to catch me finishing....

Here I come...



I didn't see Wes standing there... I felt pretty good. A little sore. (I'm real sore now.) My goal was to finish under 2 1/2 hours.


Our hotel.
Dreamland BBQ... yumm. (our pre race meal)
Post-race message... very relaxing.

Posted results list... #462

OFFICIAL RACE RESULTS

The company who took race photos will email me when they load the photos....